[FASTLARRY]

Hu is a Billiards expert

You look at Roger Long, he says he is, just proclaims him self to be one. Where are his credentials, he paid Jerry $500 for a piece of paper that says he can teach, that means he's an expert? He's at the bottom level of their teaching program, and experts are not there.

These bozo ding dongs hu just self annoint their own egos just busts my chops.

When the dis respect these titles, it cheapens all those hu held them before.

I have long had a poster made in 1900 by Brunswick which showed hu the top 20 billiard experts were in the world. Many were European as the center of the game was in Paris and it would not be moved to NYC until Willie Hoppes win in 1908. It was a short list, not every ding dong with a cue was on it.
To get on it, you had to have won a world title and you can play the game with the best, and I hold dozens of world records, which I have done, and proved this all to ripleys believe it or not which put me on prime time tv to peform my world record shots, and the games leading expert, the only one hu could bestow a billiards expert title on any one, saw me play, spent years interfacing with me, quized me, tested me, and knows I have the 3rd largest billiard libary on earth, meaning I have every book, or a copy of them, from 1800 to date, and I have read every word written for 200 years, studied every shot diagramed, shot and duplicated every shot ever made by anyone, and I am the only one to have done this, filmed and invented over 1,000 new trick shots, dozens of which, no man can duplicate, Shamos in his billiards digest magazine column, proclaimed me to be, "A BILLIARDS EXPERT"

So my credential on this, is as solid as it can be. And to those who just give their selves this title, with nothing to back it up, when I spent 20 years earning mine, I say to you, sir, you are a disgrace. Take that title off anything you are doing until Shamos gives it to you.

Ok, my 2nd rant and bitch, handles. In my era, nobody give their selves a handle. You were a sausage, until you got one. You got one, when you became a real player. You got your handle usually by the top stick, giving it to you. Minnesota fats saw me run 10 racks of 9 ball and out in 5 minutes flat, and said, that was fast, we will call you fast larry. My life long friend, and pal, Fast Eddy, the real one, gave it to me also, saying, I think its great, 3 of us came out of the same pool hall, Kling and Allen's with the same handle, Fast Eddy, Fast Larry and Fast Joey. All we wanted to do was play fast like Willie, who used to be the house pro there for 4 years, and who was all of our hero and who we all copied our games and styles from.
That occured in 1960, that was when my handle was given to me. The movie had not even came out, and nobody knew who Fast Eddy or who Chicago Fats was, who would later change his name to Minnesota fats, to match the movie name. My handle came from the top two legends in the game. And in 1993, I earned it again, breaking a world record by 4 full seconds, breaking and running out a rack of 15 balls in 33.95 seconds on a 9' table, a record that still stands today untouched. A faster record has been set on the smaller 7' table by Pearson, so I am still today, the fastest pool player on earth, until somebody beats that time, so I am, Fast Larry, the fastest there is. And if you dont belive that, you can believe it or not, or just go kiss my fuckin ass, Hu.

3 people jumped in an tried to steal Eddies handle. Several have claimed the name, ambassador of pool, or the ice man. When a name player has a handle, it should be like a jersey, it should be his, forever, never used again. That name should be retired he he retires. So what do we have today, you have this common english girl hu always dreamed of being a dutchess, so bada boom, she just gives her that title. Grady just makes him self a professor, with zero education and simply memorizes a few big words to bull shit you with. Varner makes him self a colonel and never was in the service. Every one now just sits around and makes up their own handles like on the internet. It chaps my ass.........

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