[FASTLARRY]

aH SO GRASSHOPPER:

U do not have to B good at pool, golf or sex, to have fun and enjoy the game. 4, enjoying the game, is really what it is all about. 4 perfection is not obtainable and trying to achieve it, only leads to unhappiness.

[RoyZ]

There are a lot of people trying to make it on the pro tour but few will make it and only 2 or 3 can support themselves with their winnings. Enjoying it is the best reason to play.

[Pin]

Perfection is unattainable, but it feels so good to sink a long, tough shot straight down the centre of the pocket. And when I'm doing it consistently it just blows my own mind.

Sorry man, I want to be good!

[FASTLARRY]

Pin, on May 5 2010, 07:20 PM, said:

Perfection is unattainable, but it feels so good to sink a long, tough shot straight down the centre of the pocket. And when I'm doing it consistently it just blows my own mind.

Sorry man, I want to be good!

AH SO GRASSHOPPER, GOOD YOU CAN BE, GOOD I CAN GRANT, PERFECT, YOU CANNOT BE.

[FASTLARRY]

God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system. God loves all of his people, only baptists hate Gays. Jesus taught to love your fellow man, he did not seperate gays and straights. He had a ho as his right hand woman and I bet at least one of the 12 was gay. Judas for sure.

[FASTLARRY]

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass....it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

--

In God We Trust!
May you always have love to share,
Health to spare,
And friends that care

[FASTLARRY]

Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow;

whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die.

- Tao Te Ching, Lao Tsu's teachings

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[FASTLARRY]

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
- Al Capone

AND FL SAY: An if dis dont work, den youse takes dare balls in yo mouth, and bite down hard and they will follow youse any where and their hearts and minds will now B in accord wit youse every wish...........................
Yo, I got dis one, from my old Lawyer, hu lived 3 houses down from da Gov-nors mansion, and he did not get dat spread by being a mister nice guy. He double fooked everybody. He wuz a Polak jew named Izzy, hu changed his foist name to Roman, wantin youse to tink he wuz a wop, cause he had black hair, wuz short, fat, double ugly and looked like a meata ball greaser. Later he got smart, began a bank, where he could really mass fook people. One nice thing about dying, is I know that ass hole wont get to heaven.

[FASTLARRY]

Subject: Fw: For Those Who Thought They Knew Everything

Just to make sure you know everything!

Just Scroll down

********************************* ********************************************
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for

Blood plasma.
********************************* ******************************************
No piece of paper can be folded in half

more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...
****************************************************************************
Donkeys kill more people annually

than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your rear)
************************************************************************
You burn more calories sleeping

than you do watching television.
**************************************************************************
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
****************************************************************************
The first product to have a bar code

was Wrigley's gum.
*************************************************************************
The King of Hearts is the only king

WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
***************************************************************************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive

from each salad served in first-class.
**************************************************************************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you ?)
(That women are going the 'right' direction..?)

(Or backwards from everybody else)

*********************************************************************
Apples, not caffeine,

are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .
************************************ ***********************************
Most dust particles in your house are made from

DEAD SKIN !
************************************************************************ ****
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.
***************************************************************************
Walt Disney was afraid

OF MICE!
**************************************************************************
PEARLS DISSOLVE

IN VINEGAR ! (I’ll never know, since I don’t own any!)
*********************************************************************
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
**********************************************************************
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...

but, not downstairs.

************************************************************************
A duck's quack doesn't echo,

and no one knows why.
************************************************************************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !)
***************************************************

And the best for last....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't YOU ?)

So.......................




Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on......and go move your toothbrush !!!

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[FASTLARRY]

The wisdom of an ole cowboy.

Subject: Ole Cowboy




Ole Cowboy

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were
to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he
wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his
hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally well read Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the
city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever
seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with
expensive clothes and jewelry.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted,
spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled by his appearance and did
not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him
and asked the cowboy to do him a favor: "Before you come back here again,
have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire
for worship in church."

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged
jeans, shirt, boots, and hat.

Once again, he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached
the cowboy and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you
came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for
worshiping here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He
said He'd never been in this church." and he would not hang out with you
snooty tooty social climing ass holes.


http://www.youtube.c...h?v=ivKuL3AMVv0

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[FASTLARRY]

do not live alone

[Harky]

Pay attention to THE PROCESS... My daughter graduated from grad school in May. I bought her a 2000 Firebird in October, seven months before her graduation. I had it completely gone over and made the necessary repairs to bring it up to nearly perfect for the 100K miles on it. I hid it from her making a few cosmetic improvements to paint chips and fading on some of the trim, washing and waxing. I reveled in the image of the moment I had it driven up to her when I held the mandatory post-graduation get together. For over seven months the enjoyment, pleasure, and anticipation of the event, the purchase, service, fixing up, off site storage, and the keeping of the secret, gave me many hours of enjoyment of joy, time and loving activity that far exceeded the actual presentation of the gift. The unattainable perfection of pure joy was approached not by the giving of the gift but in the process of seeking the gift, preparing the gift, and holding the gift. The joy in this human journey is celebrated and manifest in the pursuit of personal achievement, not in the result. Revel in every moment of the journey, for it far outshadows the final fleeting, often empty moment of supreme achievement. Once this lesson is learned, you will become a different person as your spirit begins to outshine your humanity.

FL SAY: THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP................................

FRIGGEN OUTSTANDING POST DUDE. WE NEED MORE LIKE YOU.

[FASTLARRY]

"Be who you are and say what you feel....
Because those that matter...
don't mind...
And those that mind...

don't matter."

Stop trying to be everyones friend, even if you suceed, half will hate you if you pull it off.

You dont need all those friends, only a couple will do, you want a few hu are loyal, not a bunch of users and social climbers.

If some people dont like you, fuck em, so what, a lot dont like me, and I sleep like a baby at night.

[FASTLARRY]

"Be who you are and say what you feel....
Because those that matter...
don't mind...
And those that mind...

don't matter."

Stop trying to be everyones friend, even if you suceed, half will hate you if you pull it off.

You dont need all those friends, only a couple will do, you want a few hu are loyal, not a bunch of users and social climbers.

If some people dont like you, fuck em, so what, a lot dont like me, and I sleep like a baby at night.

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[FASTLARRY]

I grew up in the 40's/50's with practical parents. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it... A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away..

I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away....never to return.. So... while we have it...... it's best we love it.... and care for it... and fix it when it's ! broken......... and heal it when it's sick.

This is true. for marriage........ and old cars...... and children with bad report cards..... and dogs with bad hips..... and aging parents..... and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special........ and so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper', so I've sent it to the people I think of in the same way.... Now it's your turn to send this to those people that are "keepers" in your life. Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Keep them close!

TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY..

1.... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation..

2.. God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3... God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4... God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5... God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6.. God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7..... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8.... God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.

9... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation. He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10... God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to, He already knows your decision.

[FASTLARRY]

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is a powerful medicine, and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

[FASTLARRY]

Never try and out smart a squirrel, or waste you time putting up defenses to keep them out of your bird feeders.

http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=XxL9ipSDC2Y&...feature=related

[FASTLARRY]

PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

[FASTLARRY]

Every pool player needs a few things in his glove compartment of his car. A good comando knife, a .25 baretta, a new pack of rubbers, a church key, a flashlight and a roll of quarters.

I have had my drivers window down stopping at convenience stores and had some homeless ass hole virtually getS his head inside the window, and I pull the knife, point it at him, and tell him, get the fook outta here, or lose yo fookin nose ass hole. If that does not work, then I take my Glock laying beside me, under the towel, and I shove that in his face. You must be able to defend your self.

If your car breaks down, or if you have to walk for help, the baretta goes in your pants pocket, and cant be seen.

Rubbers, self explanatory.

Church key, you might get some foreign beer.

Flashlight, to change a tire in the dark. Quarters, you can always get on a bar box late at night, can always get through a toll, pay a parking lot, you never want to be broke, you always want a little money there, just in case you leave home without your wallet, which is why I always have two drivers licenses, one I keep in there, one on my person.

Lets say your flashlight is going dim, or about to go out, you try to put two new D batteries in it, but you are out and only have one D, but plenty of C's. Put the D in, then stack 6 quarters on top of it, then in goes the C, bada boom, it now works fine. FL TIP OF THE DAY, BAYBOOSE.

[FASTLARRY]

Youse guys tatoot dis one under youse eye lids.

When in doubt, go wit what youse knows.