[FASTLARRY]

Guid mornin to all the laddies and lassies here hu like to have a wee nip of Iskabaka like me at 5pm.

Hou’s it gaun? Oh, mines hangin loose as a goose me boy. Nae problem, we will talk about me favorite subject, the river of life.

Very old warm whiskey and very young hot lassies is the secret to me long life. A dinna kin why your all workin your selves into a early grave. A hae nae thocthie. Aye laddie, there is a solution to your problem, just pop a cork. 'The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.'' - Humphrey Bogart

My favorite single malt, which I only drink neat, I never use water, because fish poop in water, is Glenlevit 12. IMHO it’s one of the best there is, for the money. Its not cheap at $50 a bottle, but its worth every drop. It did not become the most popular single malt in the USA for nothing.

http://www.boozebasher.com/2008-07-19/scot...nlivet-12-year/

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=8V77YpmP2oc

http://www.whisky.co...ivet_brand.html

They also have a 15 yr old called French Oak reserve, where they put it in a different barrel, add a lot of stuff so you can smell and taste all this weird shit. And its no longer even close to what the 12 is like, it’s a total different whiskey. I understand they are trying to match what some of their local competitors are doing so they will have something equal. It left me cold and I did not like it. 12 yes, 15 no………

They don't always get better, when they get older. Normally the best is at 12, then many tend to peek at 18, and at 21 and beyond get worse, I have tasted some at 30 that sold for $500 which was awful. When they get over 21, they get very expensive, and its mainly for showing off.

Glenlivet 25 Year Single Malt Scotch 750ML will cost you $309 a bottle on line. If you are a millionaire, why not, but if your a workin stiff, forget it.


Guid eenin. Ta Ta.

[CocoboloCowboy]

FASTLARRY, on Apr 4 2010, 08:43 AM, said:

Guid mornin to all the laddies and lassies here hu like to have a wee nip of Iskabaka like me at 5pm.

Hou’s it gaun? Oh, mines hangin loose as a goose me boy. Nae problem, we will talk about me favorite subject, the river of life.

Very old warm whiskey and very young hot lassies is the secret to me long life. A dinna kin why your all workin your selves into a early grave. A hae nae thocthie. Aye laddie, there is a solution to your problem, just pop a cork. 'The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.'' - Humphrey Bogart

My favorite single malt, which I only drink neat, I never use water, because fish poop in water, is Glenlevit 12. IMHO it’s one of the best there is, for the money. Its not cheap at $50 a bottle, but its worth every drop. It did not become the most popular single malt in the USA for nothing.

http://www.boozebasher.com/2008-07-19/scot...nlivet-12-year/

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=8V77YpmP2oc

http://www.whisky.co...ivet_brand.html

They also have a 15 yr old called French Oak reserve, where they put it in a different barrel, add a lot of stuff so you can smell and taste all this weird ****. And its no longer even close to what the 12 is like, it’s a total different whiskey. I understand they are trying to match what some of their local competitors are doing so they will have something equal. It left me cold and I did not like it. 12 yes, 15 no………

They don't always get better, when they get older. Normally the best is at 12, then many tend to peek at 18, and at 21 and beyond get worse, I have tasted some at 30 that sold for $500 which was awful. When they get over 21, they get very expensive, and its mainly for showing off.

Glenlivet 25 Year Single Malt Scotch 750ML will cost you $309 a bottle on line. If you are a millionaire, why not, but if your a workin stiff, forget it.


Guid eenin. Ta Ta.

I have a 20 Y/O bottle of this

[FASTLARRY]

CocoboloCowboy, on Apr 4 2010, 12:04 PM, said:

I have a 20 Y/O bottle of this

Glad ya told me that, I'm comin by now, for sure laddie. Then it will be, you used to have a 20 year old bottle.

[FASTLARRY]

Moderation sir, aye, moderation is my rule.
Nine or ten is reasonable refreshment,
but after that it's apt to degenerate
into drinking where you pull the cork and toss it over your shoulder laddie. ”

An Old Highland Saying

Cha deoch-slàint, i gun a tràghadh.

"The secret to me long life laddie, is very old warm single malt whisky, and very sexy young blond hotties. Try your best to get both of them to kill you off while your young if you can and leave a good lookin corpse behind. Life is shit, get to know this fast, soon, you get old and you die, so get all the poosay you can when you are young. FL"


Johnnie Walker swing is usually found by people buying overseas in no duty shops. It's a little hard to find in your local liquor stores, but some do carry it. The bottle swings, rocks, so it can't tip over on a ship rolling in a storm. It's about 18 yrs old and one of my favorite blends.
You will want to own the entire collection of Johnnie Walker, and the swing is a must have.

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=HbQcOakdJm8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbQcOakdJm8...feature=related

[/url

It's a little pricy, 60 and 6 s&h or 66 total. It's worth every dime. It's a world class blend.

www.shopperswine.com

I buy from them, no problems, I trust them. Fgt is a problem, if you are out west, I can give you a SF supplier, email me.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((***))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

A favorite of many scots over the pond is black bottle. It's a lovely blend at a nice price, 25 and 6 s&h total $32. Hard to find in your local stores.

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sD2c3S2w-8"]

[FASTLARRY]

Ok, we all know I am very high on the Glenvevit 12, I think its the greatest, for the money. I love it. And I did not like the 15, boy did they fuck that one up royal.

Lets go to the 18 year old, which is usually the peak time. I found it to be fantastic, on a scale of 1-10 I gave it a full 10. What else is there to say, blew me bloody socks off laddie. I tasted neat of course, no 2 wee drops of water, nye laddie, fish poop in me water, not for me.

http://jason-scotchreviews.blogspot.com/20...alt-scotch.html


Now on to the 21 year old, which usually gets into being expensive. I found it to taste rather closely to the 18, which was surprising, but it was much darker, thicker, coated sheeted much more. I gave it an 11. Heaven.

http://whiskyforeveryone.blogspot.com/2009...-years-old.html





And so what to the majority of the scots drink the most?

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=CuRyoQwFzT4

[FASTLARRY]

YO SARAH DIES.


Last night just before I went to bed, I decided to have a wee nip of me single malt, me Glenlevit 21 year old, put a little jolt, a little touch in a big brandy sniffer, tossed it in the Micro wave for 20 seconds, warmed it up nicely, and went to bed, just sitting there, putting my nose inside the rim deeply and sniffing, over and over. Holy shit, that will blow yo friggen head into tamale. U will begin to C Jesus. Yo Sarah Hu is very curious, and does not drink, wanted to know what I was doing and why I was not drinking it. I could have explained it to her, but it would have been like trying to explain it to me dog Buddy Boy, so why waste the time, and she would probably just call me a glue sniffin freak.

So there I am, happy as a new puppy born with 2 peters, honking away like a Canadian goose, and I get about half stoned, which wuz da goal. I sipped slowly when it cooled, from the neat jolt of the libration of the Gods and when I was slowly slipping away out of conscious, which was the 2nd goal, I sat it down and slid off to peaceful sleep. I had poured a double, so there was at least a full ounce left in the glass. A little pull or a slash never killed no one laddie. A shot of that shit costs about $6, no big deal, but for a malt head to see 21 being poured out, he would rather cut off his fuckin dick instead. It's a crime, on a serious level to one of us drinkin men, equal to a priest tail gunnin one of the alter boys and not even offering the little fucker a reach around or a jar of Ky jelly.

Da Lassie should have been bull whipped at least. In the old days, in Scotland, they would have shipped her off to Botney Bay. After she spent 2 weeks in the blocks in the town square where all the little kids could spit on her when they went by.

Yo Sarah, because she dont drink, gets up an hour or two ahead of me. Getting up before the chickens or da rooster crows to me is sick, and my bio rythms peaks me about midnight, I am a person of the night, and I tell everyone, I dont do fuckin mornings. Yo Sarah is smokin at 7am.

When I was in KCmo, and was the number one salesman for this billion dollar company, there was this really big account, in Wichita, Ks, and I called on the guy that afternoon early, so I could still get in 18, and the next night, took him to a show and to a top restaurant with his wife. After serious wineing a dining, he wants to being me on, and I said, to get into by big kahuna club, fly to Europe on my yearly golf trip on my 737 to St Andrews, you have to buy, one million a year or more, he said, no problem. He was for real and it was 1971 and we made deals back then, man to man, with a hand shake, I spit in me palm, and said, put er there, and he did, a bond was made.

Then the ass hole lays the A bomb on my ass, telling me he only takes sales calls and visits from salesmen in his private office from 6am to 7:30 am by appointment. During business hours all of his time is spent with his customers and running his business. I pretty much had Wichita wrapped up for years, so Yes, I would like to have another mil, but I really did not need the fucker. So I could take him, or leave him, so I made him a deal he could not refuse and he wanted it. But go to work at 6 fuckin am, shit, I got up and said, fuck U, I dont get back to my room, or throw the bimbo out of the room I picked up the night before by 6am. 7:30 am I am in the tub, nursing a double bloody Mary. I said, those two big micks that preceeded me, I knew them both before we put them in the drunk sanatarium, Car Load Ralph and Jack O'Niel, neither one ever made a call before lunch. I have never ever made a sales call in my life, before 9am. We do business, we have lunch at noon, play golf in the afternoon, do deals in the bar after 5 and I walked out. I said, its a deal breaker, I could never ever do it. A week later, he calls back, and says, I will make an exception only for you, dont tell no one. I went, sure.

So all my life, I have bluffed everyone into accepting, I dont do fuckin mornings.

Me, I do not wake up fast. It takes two full cups of tea before I will even talk to any one and me mains come on line. You can talk to me all you want, I just wont talk back to you. Holmes when I wake up, my head feels like I went 3 rounds in ring with Mike Tyson, I am in rough shape until 10am. I have to get 4 full cpus of Earl Grey into me plus a virgin Mary to bring me around. I heard her going by on my side of the bed, and I know she always picks up my empty glass from the night before and I said, dont pour that out, put it in the fridge, and went back to sleep. She heard, the evil bitch poured it out on purpose, cause she was pissed about something I said or did, and she did it to get even with me.

I wake up, go into the kitchen, and there is an empty sniffer, I said, where is, the 21 year old that was inside there. And she looks at me and begins to become Sgt Schultz, she dont no nuttin holmes, right, she saw nutzing, no's nut zing, and when she refused to confess and beg for forgiveness, that's when I killed the bitch, strangled her until her fookin eyes popped out and her evil tongue turned black... Ha Ha Ha, I'll grab a flight to Costa Rica and hide out on the Volcano, they will never find me, I'll be a bandidto on da lam. Pay off da local federalies to hide my ass, I'll make a clean get away. Dig up my loot there, take a boat over to the Grand Cayman and pull out my stash, I'll be flush and fine. Yo, that is what I would have loved to do, but I chilled. Man, in the old days a little bitch slappin would have been in order, but now you get 120 days picking up beer cans on I-85 for that shit. I told her, when she goes to heaven, and if there is a scot at the gate, checking people in, and he see's that one in her book, pouring out 21 year old, he will put her ass on the bus to hell laddie in a new york femto second. Pouring out 21 year old, ya got to hell for that. It would be like pissing in the Popes holy water.

Oh God, how I wanted to give, Yo Sarah a little attitude adjustment.............Man..............................Once, right in da kisser, pow zoom......................Off to da moon.


http://www.youtube.c...h?v=URvFvF3Ut3g


If you are a parrot head, like me, yo a drinkin man.......................You have our national anthem and theme song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL9O0B0gzZE...feature=related

And gettin drunk and screwin all night long, ya dont do mornins or make 6am sales calls. Life has many sacrifices one must make.

Some people, claim, there was a woman to blame. Does the Pope wear a funny white hat or what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mmtHPd4Vzc...feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhmjecEapzc...feature=related

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[astetsoncowboy]

She's probably still pee o'd at Palmer about the autograph.

[FASTLARRY]

astetsoncowboy, on Apr 25 2010, 02:24 AM, said:

She's probably still pee o'd at Palmer about the autograph.

Fat Jack was hugging her, taking pictures with her, hell she could stop him in the middle of the 15th fairway cross walk at the Masters and he would hug and pose with her. She thought he was the living end. He was at a corporate thing with her and her company in the late 60's, so there might have been something there, Hu knows. I was Ok, with the fat kid, learned slowly to love him, but my man, was AP, player of the century, and I was a early member in Arnies Army. I never saw him refuse an autograph, watched him sign zillions of them all with a smile. And I suggest to Yo Sarah she run over and gets Ap's signature, and she waits in line for 20 mintutes and when he gets to her, as the story goes, he looks at her, turns and walks away. When she came back, smoke wuz comin out of her ears, and she has hated his ass since then. That was about 1985.
I made the mistake of making a bad joke and suggesting maybe he tought U were double ugly and ran off with fright/ OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
NOT A GOOD JOKE AT THE TIME.
I think Ap just got to the point where we wore out, and somewhere, you have to cut it off, turn and just leave a bunch of people still shoving paper and pencils in your face. And I could never explain it to her, that is what happened, that it was nothing personal. She never bought it and still thinks he's an ass hole. She is the only person on the planet, with that opinion.

She fell in love with Payne Stewart when I picked him out at the Masters as a future champion and I called him as the next Ap, and suggested she follows him around, it was just a excuse to dump her ass and go running with Ap and the Army and I knew she could not keep up and would be bitchin and moaning and spoil the entire thing. She is boppin along and Payne is a giant nobody and she is his only fan, a gallery of one. They talk, become pals, and she thinks he is great. Then he wins a bunch of big ones, becomes a super star, and now he has a massive gallery. She wants to follow him, and I said, Ok, for a hole or two, then I am outta here. She wants to impress me with her personal relationship with him and says, Payne, sign my Shirt for me please, he ignores her and goes to his bag and pulls out the big dog on #2 at the Masters. Yo Sarah says so he can hear it but in a low voice, come back here you spoiled brat, I used to be your only fan and gallery, now you are too famous to sign my shirt. He looked up, recognized his first fan, smiled, came over and signed her shirt. I said, you cant do that shit here for Christ sake, jeeze louise, ya gonna get us thrown out of da joint. She said, yes I can, see, he signed my shirt just like I told him too. I said, that's fuckin it, I am so out of here, meet you at the car at 5, or bail you out and go your bond.

To lose such a wonderful young man like Payne, in his prime, is so rare in golf, such a shock, such a loss. He was a beautiful person.

http://www.youtube.c...qJ3S4a2IhE&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPiqWzHiPmQ...feature=related

And hu wuz da greatest golfer of all time, could it have been Moe?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu6FvJy7deM...=1&index=49

Why wuz he da king?

Its good to B king.

http://www.youtube.c...3fgReo-yOg&NR=1

I have played Bay hill many times, and what is amazing is Ap had an office right in the middle of the place, where it was all glass, so everyone could see him.

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=zhNW66_Nz2s


DO NOT MISS THIS, THE MASTERS OF 1960 Arnies Army is born this year.

Looking back 50 years, I could not believe how bare and open void of trees the par 3 course was, the caddies were all black, players all white, now, caddies all white, lots of brown players. 12,000 fans, you could actually see the shots, today, you cant behind 55,000.
http://www.youtube.c...h?v=HFTYzYlaR4o 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YqnMayrU_k...feature=related 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWAbcAmoNZE...feature=related 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpVL1jnT0wg...feature=related 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXUnCmHjH5Q...feature=related 5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mox9FPpf1D4...feature=related 6

All of my golf concepts an success came from Hogan, nobody ever hit it better than him. Sergio today plays just like this, be today, we are not as flat as Hogan was, but are more upright with our swing, other than that, little has changed in 60 years.

[FASTLARRY]

I drink Johnnie walker blended in a big glass of water and ice beginning at 5pm, quittin time, and after about 4, which I slowly sip over the course of an evening, when I am ready to go to bed, I pour a little jolt of neat Glenlevit in a new clean glass, usually only about a half jigger, and I like to sniff it, and take very light small sips of it, just to experience the full experience of the scotch, and not suffer the damaging conquences of long term drinking straight booze, which will eat you up inside.

Enter, my new Jack Russell, Buddy, hu yo sarah says, is big, dumb, ugly, lazy and he farts a lot, she says, he is just like me, we are carbon copies of each other, so he's my perfect dog. At least, that is Yo Sarahs take on it, and as you know, we disagree on most of these issues. I did pick Buddy out, that is true. And he has bonded very deeply to me.

For a Jack, he is enormous, pushing 25 lbs. I like big Jacks. And he is very energetic. I am laying out on the bed, watching the tube, propped up by a couple of pillows, and just as I put the glass over my nose to take a big sniff, HERE'S BUDDY, HE comes flying on to the bed and lands right on my chest, driving the neat scotch right up me nose. Holy she-yit, what an experience that one was. Pain because of the straight alcohol and its a wonder I did not gag, but being so used to the stuff, that did not occur, then when the pain went away, there was the after smell which was nice, so don't go trying this one, because the pain is not worth it.

At my age, its rare for me to now have any new experience. This was one. Thanks buddy boy. But next time, hows about a little woof woof before you come flying through the air, OK.

[FASTLARRY]

>>> Subject: God Loves Drunk People Too
> >>>
> >>
> >>> A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on
> >>> the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
> >>> standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
> >>>
> >>> "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
> >>>
> >>> He slams the door and returns to bed.
> >>>
> >>> "Who was that?" asked his wife.
> >>>
> >>> "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
> >>>
> >>> "Did you help him?" she asks.
> >>>
> >>> "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out
> >>> there!"
> >>>
> >>> "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember
> >>> about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?
> >>>
> >>> I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
> >>> God loves drunk people too.
> >>>
> >>> The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
> >>> pounding rain.
> >>>
> >>> He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
> >>>
> >>> "Yes," comes back the answer.
> >>>
> >>> "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
> >>>
> >>> "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
> >>>
> >>> "Where are you?" asks the husband.
> >>>
> >>> "Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
> >>>

[kc7mrq]

My current top shelf is a bottle of Balvenie, Dalwhinnie, 10yr Laphroaig, 15yr Laphroaig, and 18yr Laphroaig.

Islay scotch is my favorite with Laphroaig being my darling choice among all scotches. My next choice would be highland scotches like Oban and Dalwhinnie.

I haven't been happy with my recent selection of Spreyside scotches. Balvenie is an ok mild scotch, but glenlivit is just better.

However, on those rough days where I need a 5pm pick me up, 10yr Laphroaig is no better. Its overly strong peat can turn my fowl mood into pleasant one.

Must have mine on ice to enjoy the experience. Anything over 70 proof numbs the tongue and i might as well go buy a $10 bottle of rock gut.

[headmuses]

You might want to try this...if your wallet can handle the cost about 6000.00 a bottle

http://lostinasupermarket.com/2010/01/high...ition-1-scotch/

[kc7mrq]

headmuses, on Jun 24 2010, 07:14 AM, said:

You might want to try this...if your wallet can handle the cost about 6000.00 a bottle

http://lostinasupermarket.com/2010/01/high...ition-1-scotch/

Actually....


I've already tried it, but not bottled like that. A close friend of the family that lives in Germany was doing some work in Scotland near the Highland Park Distillery. He got us these two little bottles about 4" high that was marked as 25 & 30 yr. He said that the gentleman he obtained them stated these are from a special project that Highland Park is working on and should see it in the shelves in a couple years.

Both were incredible, but there is no way I'll ever spend that much on something that taxes the liver and kidneys. Hell, I can't even afford more than one custom cue.

[FASTLARRY]

[quote name='kc7mrq' date='Jun 24 2010, 10:55 AM' post='31863']
Actually....


I've already tried it, but not bottled like that. A close friend of the family that lives in Germany was doing some work in Scotland near the Highland Park Distillery. He got us these two little bottles about 4" high that was marked as 25 & 30 yr. He said that the gentleman he obtained them stated these are from a special project that Highland Park is working on and should see it in the shelves in a couple years.

Both were incredible, but there is no way I'll ever spend that much on something that taxes the liver and kidneys. Hell, I can't even afford more than one custom cue.


FL SAY: Getting 40 year old from them is not a problem laddie.

And drinkin the evil stuff so it will cripple ya kidneys and liver, laddie, that's what its all about, ya dinna think you are gonna live forever do ya?

I am trying to kill me self deader than a door nail with it, to prevent me from living over the age of 80. If I dont, shit, I'll make 95 like everyone in me family does, and I saw how they all ended up. So I drink me single malt neat late at night and say, death, where is thy sting. I am good to go, bring me home now. And when you want to go, the bloody blaggards will keep you here as long as they can, just to make ya suffer. They only let the good die young.

[FASTLARRY]

IMHO the greatest invention by man.


Period.

If you had a week to live, and you could choose one thing to have with you for 7 days, what would it be.

For me, simple, 2 cases of Highland park 40 year old.

[FASTLARRY]

Subject: Life is good in the South.






I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.



Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle ofJack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.



A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth.

Life is good in the South.

A little Jack, cures a lot of shit.

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[headmuses]

Smart snake...knows good mash when he gets a taste....LOL good yarn FL.

[FASTLARRY]

headmuses, on Jul 7 2010, 09:55 PM, said:

Smart snake...knows good mash when he gets a taste....LOL good yarn FL.

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