[FASTLARRY]

>> Subject: Bible Study Humor

>>> (You never know what kids are going to say!!)
>>
>>LOT 'S WIFE
>> The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and
>> turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
>> looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and
>> she turned into a telephone pole!'
>>
>> GOOD SAMARITAN
>> A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
>> Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the
>> roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?' A thoughtful
>> little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
>>
>> DID NOAH FISH?
>> A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
>> fishing when he was on the Ark ? ''No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he,
>> with just two worms.'
>>
>> HIGHER POWER
>> A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how
>> powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher
>> Power. Can anybody tell me what it is? One child blurted out, ' Aces!'
>>
>> MOSES AND THE RED SEA
>> Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
>> School. 'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
>> lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he
>> got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the
>> people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for
>> reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
>> Israelites were saved.'
>>
>> 'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother
>> asked.
>>
>> 'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
>> believe it!'
>>
>> THIS IS MY FAVORITE!!!
>> THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
>> A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of
>> the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters
>> a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task -
>> but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could
>> barely get past the first line.
>> On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of
>> the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped
>> up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and
>> that's all I need to know.'
>>
>> UNANSWERED PRAYER
>> The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
>> and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she
>> asked him why.
>> 'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
>> messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
>> 'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.
>>
>> UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
>> During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from
>> one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into
>> silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a
>> thing?'
>> Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'
>>
>> ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
>> When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
>> family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For
>> several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,
>> 'And all girls.' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include
>> this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli,
>> why do you always add the part about all girls?'
>> Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying
>> 'All Men'!'
>>
>> SAY A PRAYER
>> Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
>> Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was
>> being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating
>> right away.
>> 'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
>> 'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
>> 'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before
>> eating at our house.'
>> 'That's at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and
>> she knows how to cook!'
>>