[FASTLARRY]

The Golf ringer

I was a sales manager for decades and at some companies I had my own employees, at other times I managed teams of independent sales reps. I hired this rep that was from New Jersey, and had that attitude that goes with that turf. He Bull she-yitted me he could do the job and make the numbers. I gave him a shot. He belonged to this country club that was on the lower shelf barely above a good public golf course. He had played with me several times at my country club, which had the pro event every year and was at the top shelf. He knew my handicap at the time was 2 because he had seen it.

He invited me to play with him in his member guest tourney. That is always a nice honor and you always go all out to make it a great day for everyone. You wear your best, you try and play our best and have your AA game on.

Once we tee off he informs me he has me down as an 18 handicapper and he has placed some large bets and he is going to clean up. He says he is going to give me a piece of the action. I am going; you used my real name, yes. But they never check that stuff out. He said look, we did this last year and cleaned up and nobody got hip. He said, we grease the pro and he looks the other way, like the cops do in Joyzee. He said, the fix is in, you are safe, the pro will cover it all for me. I said, I can understand sandbagging at these things, but this is fraud, cheating. He said, yes, and the pro covers it all up and we take care of him.

I am going holy she-yit, what has this guy done. I don’t mind if he cheats, but you don’t bring me into your crime and con without asking my permission. I was trying to qualify for the US Open at the time and did not want my amateur status blown sky high like happened to me in pool.

I hit the first 3 holes in regulation and 3 putt all 3 of them, I am 3 over par. He has a little pep talk with me, Yo, usually you are par or 1 under at this point, you moider dis course, when do you get rolling here? I said, I don’t. I will hit all 18 greens for you, and 3 putt all 18 greens, just like an 18 handicapper does. His eyes bugged out and his faced turned a pale green. We did not speak to each other for the rest of the round. I carded my 90, and the cheating had gotten out of hand that year and several were bringing in ringers also. The ones who lost, were out conned by the better cons, blew the whistle, several amateurs lost their status and the pro at the club was fired and he was ran out of the game.

In pool, all of that would have been business as usual, swept under the rug, or ignored and stonewalled into tamale. That is what I love about Golf, it has integrity, and it will defend it.

This guy escalated his whiskey drinking after that, and when he could no longer function, he went into beer, and then began drinking beer nonstop all day long. When his personal life tanked and his sales dropped, I fired the guy. His corruption took an old man on his last leg at a bottom ranked country club out of the game. He of course, should have known better. So realize just like in pool, there are cons and fixed events in golf as well. I was in one that blew sky high.

You have to have people you can trust, who are honest, who have integrity. That goes for a salesman working for you, or for your weekend golfing pal. If he is a cheat, I won’t play with him anymore.

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