There are 6. Date 1-09 Max, male, 14 years old, blond long hair. 125 lbs. German Shepherd Great Dane mix.
When asked what his breed is, or what is he, I say wonder dog, I genetically engineered him. I crossed him with a she-yit Su, and a bull dog, so he is a bull shit dog, just like his master.
Shepherds are usually 55 to 75 lbs, they rarely get over 100. Max appears to be German shepherd, or a Tan alcase.
When Jake began to lock up and I needed a new dog, I began to think about what I wanted. I did not want a hyper dog, I wanted something that would come out, do its show, then go to sleep under the table and leave me alone for hours. What dogs did that, answer, Great Danes and Bloodhounds, and when I began to study them, never had either, they love to sleep and lay around. Both are extremely intelligent, and the Bloodhound used to be the dog of the Kings of Europe, and not the redneck hound we think of him today. They are both very gentle and never bite any one, when a bloodhound catches a convict runaway, he licks him in happiness. A Doberman would be eating his arm off.
So there it was, everything I wanted, so I took a Dane male into a Bloodhound female and I kept the pick of the litter, a male, who came out huge, the most beautiful body ever seen, but that dog was double ugly. I gave them all away, and the grown up male as well after the deal was done. I put him with a small 50 pound female German shepherd, who was extremely smart, and had won 30 Frisbee dog contests in a row. She would run around all day with logs in her mouth, which Shepherds do not do, so this one, was unusual. They produced a little of 8 pups, 6 looked like German Shepherds, one was pure white, and one was tan. I watched them closely, and the Tan one seemed to be the dominate one. I wanted the white, but I went with my gut. I called him, Max, and when he was born, he had huge feet, and I knew he was going to be big, a lot bigger than I planned on.
During this time I was getting on a lot of prime time TV shows with Jake, big time stuff, and when I was out in Vegas, performing for real big time money at the Las Vegas convention center, and a magician also performing there locked on to me and Max, liked us, and we became pals. He was amazed I was getting on all these major shows. The vast majority of magicians, never gets on TV, never get a casino show; they work all their living in an anonaminity, mostly respected, but always in the minor leagues. He began to introduce me to his friends, then the gurus of the group, and I began to go to their Hq, where they hung out, performed for each other, and traded old war stories. There is one in LA also. I asked to go back stage and to meet Siegfried and Roy and they made that possible, and soon I was hanging out with Lance. Roy was the trainer and he told me how he trained the cats, and I thought, dogs are smarter than cats, why don't I do what he is doing. The key thing he taught me was to select the dominate one early one, the one who hogs the best tit, is the most aggressive and strongest. You then remove him early, from the mother, just as his eyes begin to open, and you have to be hanging around to be sure you are there, when it happens, you pull him off, put him on your bear chest, and the first thing he sees in life, is you. You get him on a bottle and away from the mother early, and that is what I did with Max. You teach him to perform for you, because he loves you, and wants to please you. When he does, you simple reward him back, with love and affection.
All this time I was spending with max is what drove Jake wild with Jealousy, poor thing.
I was sure, Max was always a happy dog, he slept in my bed with me, and he was raised like one of my own children, pampered like a prince.
Out on the road he became a pain, I would get a room with 2 double beds, I would give him his bed, cover him up, go to bed in mine, when he would hear me snore, he would come over and lay on my legs. I would wake up and could not walk. I had to get a king size bed, everywhere we went just to have some room to sleep.
His ears did not stick up like the shepherd, but flopped, he has the face of a shepherd, the nose and chest of the Dane. His nose was black, and later turned white with age.
I gave away the 6 shepherd pups in the hood and all of them were incorrigible. They were so smart, you could not keep them in a fence and soon they were all out running all over the hood. All 6, ended up in the pound, nobody could deal with them, and they drove everyone nuts, including yo Sarah. Max, like his pals, ate her house, he was worse than the lab in Marley and me. He ate the corners off all the chairs, sofas, tables, he destroyed the joint. Like the other 6, Yo Sarah put down her foot and said, that worthless mut is going to the pound; it’s either him, or me.
Damn I hate ultimatums; I don’t deal with them good. So I called her bluff, I said darling, I have enjoyed my 15 years of marriage with you, but I choose the dog over you, he stays, or we both go, you make the call. I'll pack up and leave with him and work on the road and never come back. The bluff worked, she relented, and when Max turned one, went out of his puppy mode, he never touched another thing, he was a perfect dog from that point one.
But I knew I had to break the model, so no more could come into the world just to be destroyed. All the Dane bloodhounds I gave away. The shepherd female stayed with a friend down the block, and she kept the white pup, who grew up to be the same size as max, and turned out mean and vicious. The mother was mean, I did not know that, she bit up several of the pups when they got bigger and were hurting her tits that they had to go to the vet for stitches. Soon she moved away with both dogs and I lost track of them. What I did, how I produced max, worked, but I viewed it as a failure I did not want to repeat, or see anyone else do it.
So I had the intelligence of the 3rd smartest dog, the German shepherd, and her extraordinary talents. But they can be aggressive, but that blood was cut with the gentle Dane, and here is Max, perfect dog for my show purposes. I went, Ya Vo, Das es goot hund.
When I would be out on the road I would do a lot of all day lessons at people’s houses or do shows for wealthy people at their homes, and I would tell them, I can't leave max at the motel all day long, and they would say, he can stay in my back yard, my dog never got out, Max could go in, and before we could get into the house he would be behind us. He was like a raccoon, he could use his nose and paws and open latches and doors. I had one house we went to the guy said we will lock him in this room and we will go down stairs, 2 flights, it was a big place, max opened the window and was waiting for us down there. He was an escape artist, like Houdini, which showed his massive intelligence. I rarely used a leash on him, I had him totally under voice command, and I only used one around people, to make them feel good.
He has a very large strong chest from his Great Dane, big bones, and tremendous strength. He appears and looks dumb, but in fact, the dog is a genius. He sort of mopes around, doe to doe doe, and you even think he is a little retarded, but when challenged, he is faster than a rattle snake.
I warned my vet about him, how fast he was, and I said, you can do anything you want to, pull his dick, he don't care, just do not mess with his ears, he says, I have been doing this for 35 years, trust me, dogs can't bite me, I can get out of there way and I know when they will strike and what does he do, right, in he went and boom, blood all over his fingers. The Vet said, my fault, you told me; I just did not believe you. I never saw anything that fast before.
Max was a big ole bear, very gentle, and that was the one and only time he ever drew blood on a human. He did not like vets; he was a big pussy in a vet’s office. He entertained all over the country for over a decade and we never had a single problem anywhere, with anyone. Everyone loved that dog. Little toddlers would come up and tug his ears, I never worried. Max was raised with my grandchildren pulling his ears, so he knew the drill.
He has this Dane thing, where he will lay down, pretend he is asleep, but be watching through a slit in his eye. I would have him at shows lying on top of a pool table and people would walk by and think he was a statue because he would not move for an hour. Some would walk by him 3 or 4 times until they found out he was alive. They loved to have him put on his sunglasses and take their picture with him. Max worked all the major shows for years, the Super show and the BCA trade show in Vegas, plus the Hopkins Expo in Philly. He was on all the prime time major TV networks, plus on the premier of Ripley's Believe it or not. He entertained in all of the original 48 states with me.
He was a true road dog, he loved to go on a road trip, and on one, and we were out for 2 l/2 months. He protected me on the road. He loved Vegas. I put him in the pool out there to see how he could swim, right, he swam like a rock, right to the bottom and I had to go down and fish him out. I was used to our poodles which are original water fowl retrievers and they swim like ducks. Poodles love the water. Max panicked big time.
Next mistake I was at Pensacola, Florida and I decided to take Max for his 2nd swim, and I had to pull him into the surf, and slowly got him out into the deeper water, and then he got hit with a wave and went ape, he climbed up on my head, put all fours around my neck and hung on for dear life, but the only problem was he had my head under water. After he almost drowned me, I kept him on dry land from then on. He does like a bath; I think he just loves all that attention.
Another Dane thing he did was when Bee Bee was little and just 2 lbs, she would begin kissing his mouth, his teeth, he would open his big mouth and she would be inside, gone, vanish, and Yo Sarah would faint. I said, do not worry, a pal of mine has a Dane, and he would do that to kittens, take them in, and then spit them out. Bee Bee kisses all over max now, every morning, she cleans his eyes and ears, he opens his mouth and she cleans his teeth.
He was so loving and gentle with people; he loved every person he ever saw. With dogs, it was different, being so big and tall, he was above most, and when a dog would come up, and challenge him, bristle, he would put his head and press the bottom of his jaw down on their shoulder blades, and if they would cow tow down, he would get real happy and bounce around like OK, let’s play, but if they did not, he would drill them. It was so fast, they had no defense. I had a punk in the hood that had this young 125 lb Doberman and him and I, his dog and mine meet in the street and he is telling me how his bad ass dog could kick Max's ass and I turned loose of max's leash and said, do the same, show time boy. Max did is press down move, and boom, he grabbed that dog by the flank, and flipped him on the ground and was on top of him, looking down at him. It was like watching a Sumu wrestler move in, it was that fast. The Doberman leaked down his leg and ran over to his master. Max never hurt them; he just scared the ever lovin she-hit out of them. We were entertaining out in Vegas, and I went down to the front desk with him, not knowing the manager had a 175 lb Dane as her pet running loose in the lobby, and Max picked him up and threw him into a wall. That poor Dane, peed down his leg also. Max was fearless, and he never lost a fight, and he gave everyone an option, to be friends first.
When he came in as a puppy, Jake used him as his private punching bag, working him over every day, and Max thought it was all in fun, did not realize Jakes true mean steak in him. Soon that changed in 9 months when Max was much bigger than Jake. Jake made the mistake of teaching all his best fighting moves to Max. The problem began, when I began teaching Max the tricks, and then began taking him out for shows and leaving Jake behind. It killed me to do that, but I had to, business is business and Jake had his chance and blew it.
I had a couple of other trainers look them both over and they all told me to give up on Jake and put all my time in on Max, so I did. Jake became so jealous, he became furious, and about every 2 months he would explode and attack max, and max would defend, and we would have a friggen dog fight from hell. A 70 lb dog trying to kill a 125 lb dog, slamming into walls, pictures flying off into the air, it was awful, and there was no way to break it up, it would have been too dangerous to go in there. I learned to separate them like a Lion trainer with a chair. I would patch them up, fill up the holes it Neosporin and 2 months later, Jake would go off again. Every time, Jake would fight really well, but Max would kick his ass. Poor Jake was badly fighting out of his weight class and he would get beat up pretty bad. Hell Max could have killed him if he choose to; all he did was fight him off trying not to hurt him. Jake was 0 for 50. 50 times he fought and lost. I was saying, if I was fighting somebody twice my size, and this guy kicked my ass 50 times in a row, somewhere I would get smart and stop.
Jake finally got max in a narrow hall way, where max could not get him by his side and flip him, then pin him. He fought him into a corner, and then went all out; he finally fought to a draw, as I saw it. Jake declared himself the winner, and they never fought again. That is the stubborn Beagle in him.
Max now has arthritis and he moves around like the 90 year old person he is, pretty slow. I retired him two years ago at his final performance at the BCA Baltimore show, which JR debuted at. The old goes out, the new comes in. Max is in much better shape than Jake, and lies around and just sleeps most of the day. Jr will not allow him up on the bed, so I put 3 pillows by my side and he lays on them at night. Having Dane in him, with the size of his heart and chest, he should have gone out about 9 or 10, or his hips out also. Having him make 14 is simply astounding, unbelievable. It just shows how good he was treated, loved and pampered all his life.
Jake and Max, daily get a ONE a day vitamin, a Glucisanube pill, and enteric 325 aspirin, a Benadryl which helps their allergies and helps them sleep at night. They get a bowl of milk every morning, and with their teeth not what they were, I have them on soft dog food, they both share a can, and if they want more, they have to eat the hard stuff the other dogs are on. Max's teeth are all intact and in great shape, Jake lost his front fang in a fight with Jr recently and his teeth are looking bad. He has lost several. I plan to lose max, this year, and when he goes, I just can't imagine a world without him in it. There will be a void, nothing can fill.
It takes a really big strong man, to handle a dog as big and strong as max. When he was young, I took him down to New Orleans to do a show, coming back from Vegas. I parked the car and walked him down to Bourbon Street. Just as we turned the corner, here came a horse pulling a carriage. Max had just been all over the west, through Yellowstone, and had been seeing buffalo and Elk, but he had never seen a horse before and must have thought that was some giant dog and he took off after him. I could see max panic the horse and it runs down the street and bodies are everywhere, so I lock down his choke chain. When Max wanted something bad, he would gut it out, ignore the pain, and keep going, knowing he could do this for 20 seconds before he passed out. He is dragging me down the street and just as he was ready to bold, my foot caught a lamp pole and my face fell into the gutter and I locked him down.
Now I have been face down in the gutter before in Bourbon Street, but that was the first time dead
sober. To stop him, pulled out muscles all over my right side and arm. It virtually crippled me for weeks and I had to cancel a bunch of engagements. I always held on to him with my left hand, after that. I had never know, just how powerful he was, until that day. When my 270 lbs, could not hold his 125.
As I am now getting older, I am not in a position to be handling such a dog any more. So I figure to lose both Max and Jake this year, then I am out of big dogs and down to 4, Too Too will go in 2 or 3 more, down to 3, then Abbey around the same time, and my final two dogs, going into my old age, will be the 2 small jacks.
Max, the most loyal, most loving, most gentle thing, I ever knew. Why can't humans, be like him.
When you look at the photos, you will see one, where the top 3rd of Max's ear was bitten off by Jr, who warned max not to eat his food 3 times and Max ignored him, So Jr decided to kill him. Jr got lucky, catching him lying down on his chest to eat, which is how he does it, so Jr was taller than him. I broke it up fast, not knowing what Max would to to Jr, I did not want Max killing him. Now if Jr had done that to Abbey, she would have later cornered him and would have killed him over it. Max, just let it ride, he sought no revenge. All he wants now, is to just be left alone, so he can sleep and dream of his show days in Vegas, when he was a big star, and thousands flocked to see and pet him.
He loved, every minute of it.
He got to go everyone, do everything, and live on porterhouses on the road; he lived, like a king. At the big shows and convention halls, any time you have a animal act, the animal rights people show up to be sure you are not abusing them, and they would all accuse me of drugging the dog. I would get so pissed with them over that, me drug my dog, BS, he is my baby, and he eats what I eat. I would say, you need to give me a drug to wake his ass up. That is just the way he is, he invented La laid back. Max would only do 2 shows a day, that's it, a morning, a noon, mid afternoon, no way Jose, I would wake him up, put him up on the table and he would lie down and begin to snore. He would get under that pool table and sleep there all afternoon without moving.
Max has about 25 tricks he could perform, he would run the table and a rack of 8 ball call shot in about 12 seconds, fire balls in down the rail, perform a 2in2 trick shot, perform a 6 ball chattanooga choo choo railroad shot, perform the 2 ball bottle shot, he could also sing, read write and talk, a feat nobody could believe, until they saw it happen, He could break a rack of 15 balls, then call the pocket the 6 ball would go into. Any trick Lassie ever did, max had down cold.
click to enlarge the photos, the first one, Max, we are working the chinese booth today, say hello to mister Ho chi how. Tell him you are a chinese dog.
Max has been in a lot of pool magazines. Here he shares the cover with Archer and Koor.
The rest are Max in 1-09. The smaller dog is ole jake off the the left of Max.
Help
Posted 09 January 2009 - 03:47 PM
P1090034.JPG (878.5K)
Posted 20 January 2009 - 11:08 PM
