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Posted 31 October 2008 - 12:54 PM
See you life unfold in chapters 10 years apart. Once you complete a chapter, you move on to the next one. There is no holding in place or going back. That phase of your life is over and gone forever. Simply enjoy each chapter for what it is. You can be just as happy in chapter 5, as you were in chapter 3.
From the time you are born your body is constantly changing and you must learn to accept these changes. From the time you peak at 19 to 21 your body then begins to age and decay. Every year you lose muscle and body mass. It is slow at first and then in chapter 5 it accelerates rapidly.
You see guys doing hair transplants and women facelifts all trying to hold on to youth and beauty which has left them. It is all a waste of time and money. If you fight ageing then it can be a bad and destructive thing. It can lead to serious depression in your later years and bring on disease and early death.
We are all going to die, everyone of us. Dying is a natural part of life. Ageing is as well. Don’t fight either one.
We begin life and chapter one with a 9 IQ, a 20 word vocabulary, ugly and wrinkled, smelly, nothing to say, nowhere to go, nothing to do but shit in our diapers and slobber down our chins, somebody has to feed and bathe us. We go out exactly the same way in chapter 8 or 9.
So you were beautiful in chapter 2 and 3 and you now look at yourself in the mirror in chapter 6 and are aghast at what you see. You are ugly. Ok, then be the happiest ugly person on the block. Pretty is not important, being happy is.
You can knock years off your aging by how you live. Get a lot of sleep. Drink booze in moderation. Learn to be calm and avoid anger. Seek out foods rich in flavonoids, vitamin like substances that have been shown to decrease the rate of arterial and immune aging.
Exercise, work in your garden, and get sun.
Eating a flavoid rich diet can knock 3.2 years off your age, or 31 grams a day to do so.
Begin with this.
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away
Broccoli 1 cup, cook stir fry, rice, shrimp, chicken and veggies.
Cranberries, 8 ozs, plus 8 ozs of juice
Grape juice, 5 ozs
Orange juice 1 glass
Grapefruit juice, 1 glass
Oats 1 cup
Onions 1 small
Red Wine 5 ozs with dinner
Strawberries 1 cup
Tomato juice 8 ozs, I like V8, grind up some pepper, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, couple ice cubes in a kerr jar, helps kick off my morning. If you want to make it a pure Virgin Mary then add to it a dash of Lemon, Lime juice & tobacco sauce.
Tea, 3 cups of black in the morning, 2 cups of green tea at 4pm.
The circle of life is simple. We birth, we reproduce, and we die. A new baby takes our place. We come and we go, like streetcars.
All that is certain in life are you are born, you will die, you will pay taxes and everything you now know and love will change. Change is the one certainty you must learn to live with and accept in your life. The only thing certain in life is change. Do not fight something you have no control over. Change. Gracefully accept change when it comes.
See you life unfold in chapters 10 years apart. Once you complete a chapter, you move on to the next one. It is like a book that unfolds page at a time. Yes you can go back and revisit a page turned, but why. That you learn is a waste of time. Focus on the next page coming up instead. You should have no reason to ever attend a high school reunion. There is no holding in place or going back. Go back to the small town you left after 10 years. None of them changed but you did. You now have nothing in common with any of them anymore. You can’t go back, you can’t go home. Once the boys have seen Par ree, (Paris) there is no getting them back to the farm.
That phase of your life is over and gone forever. Simply enjoy each chapter for what it is. You can be just as happy in chapter 5, as you were in chapter 3. Do not dread turning 40 or 50; look forward to this new experience.
Be sure to take the time, to smell the flowers along the way. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Wander in wonder of life and follow La Vie Dansante. As my grand master said and I quote as a loyal parrot head, why don’t we get drunk and screw? I am on my new Whiskey diet this week and I have already lost three days?
I would rather die while I am living, that live while I am dead. I did my bucket list before I turned 40. I lived 3 lifetimes in the space most live one. So live every day today like it is your last one, for it just might be.
From the time you are born your body is constantly changing and you must learn to accept these changes. From the time you peak at 19 to 21 your body then begins to age and decay. Every year you lose muscle and body mass. It is slow at first and then in chapter 5 it accelerates rapidly. So my solution is when you begin to sag and wrinkle, eat more and it fills out the creases nicely. Thank God for Hawaiian shirts.
You see guys doing hair transplants and women facelifts all trying to hold on to youth and beauty which has left them. It is all a waste of time and money. If you fight ageing then it can be a bad and destructive thing. It can lead to serious depression in your later years and bring on disease and early death.
We are all going to die, every one of us. Dying is a natural part of life. Ageing is as well. Don’t fight either one. Do not fear either one, look forward to them as a progression towards you going to Heaven and being at rest soon. I will never take a Viagra pill. When nature retires me and puts me out to pasture, I shall accept that sentence. I got more than my share so why should I be greedy and keep in the game only to make a fool out of myself. Nature is trying to save you from a heart attack so don’t fight nature.
I was recently interviewed and asked, FL, you are running around with this 19 year old hooters girl hottie built like a brick S*** house. Why are you not keeping that quite? I replied, I am telling everyone, my bookie, my steak horse, the mayor, the Pope, I want them all to be jealous. But FL, such a difference in age, will one be able to keep up, and it’s common to see one die in the saddle, are you not concerned about this. I said, sure I am, but if the bitch dies, she dies at least with a smile on her face and leaves a good looking corpse behind. That will be an open casket wake for sure.
We come in and we go out the same way, ask any old person in a nursing home and they will tell you it’s true. We begin life and chapter one with a 9 IQ, a 20 word vocabulary, we don’t know squat, we are ugly and wrinkled, smelly, nothing to say, nowhere to go, nothing to do but shit in our dippers and slobber down our chins, somebody has to feed and bathe us. We go out exactly the same way in chapter 8 or 9.
So you were beautiful in chapter 2 and 3 and you now look at yourself in the mirror in chapter 6 and are aghast at what you see. You are ugly. Ok, and then be the happiest ugly person on the block. Pretty is not important, being happy is.
It took me years to learn how to beat and avoid hangovers, just stay drunk and don’t sober up. Never act your age, stay young forever.
FL is 29; he plans to stay 29 forever. His kids are now older than he is and do not understand him at all. In 5 more years his grand children will be older than him. They do understand him because he is on their wave length. FL is running around in a 5 speed red sports car convertible because he says, chicks dig it. Fl says, when you begin to act your age, it’s all over for you. The number one cause of death in old people is retirement and boredom. You must always have a hobby or a job, a project or a hottie your old lady does not know about on the side to keep you alive and on earth with a purpose. I want to die while I am living rather than live while I am dying.
I want to die being totally alive with my boots on. I don’t want to die being brain dead for a decade with my boots off and rotting in a bed on a pan. In my last life time I died with my boots off in bed, and my last words were, this is funny, meaning the boots should have been on. I want to die on top of a 19 year old hottie yelling who’s your daddy, Bonzai just as I catch the big one. Use your imagination on that one. If you gotta go dudes, go out with a bang hangin 10. Or when I die, I want to die like my father-- who died peacefully in his sleep with his boots on and not screaming like all the passengers riding in his Lincoln Town car who were going downhill on the interstate at 85mph at the time coming down out of the mountains. Die happy and you lived a good life. Live your life daily with honor and pride in your actions and you will sleep like a baby. Always tell the truth and you don’t have to remember your lies. Be a man of honor and integrity. Die with your boots on, on top of a hottie yelling out, who’s yo daddy just when a double explosion occurs.
When it comes time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home. “Quote Indian Chief Aupumut.”
FL say’s only the good die young, God allows all pool hustlers to live till they are 85 so they can suffer. If I knew I was going to live this long I would have starting drinking a quart of Patron anejo blue agave years ago so I would not make it this long. I had a damn good run and more time here than I expected or planned for so if it all ends tomorrow, no tears, I lived 3 life times in the same span a normal man lives one. I don’t mind dying broke as long as I die happy. I don’t want to die rich, bored and unhappy. I never wanted to be a millionaire; I just wanted to live like one. I drank and pissed away a half million dollars in scotch alone. I blew another half mil just trying to get laid with hotties. It was the best million, I ever spent. I got off cheap.
When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes sprinkled inside a Super Wal-Mart, then I’ll know my kids will finally come to see me twice a week. Actually my ashes will be sprinkled off the far point of lovers Key in Bonita Springs, Florida.
There were always only three things important to me. Panther Piss, Pussy and Pool, the big 3. The three P’s. I do each one, every day. Get those 3 right and then as Lamata said, the rest of it don’t matta no how. I became the master of all three and the rest then just fell in line somehow. Old Scotch, young broads and a good pool game, ah yes indeed my boy, what else is there to live for. The scotch keeps you mellow, the dolls keep you smiling and pool keeps your pockets filled with green lettuce so you don’t have to work or wear no suit or no tie around your neck.
Money for nothing and your chicks are free? “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” Bob Dylan
That is why I left the corporate world and hit the road as a pool pro in 1995, because I always wanted to do that and when I was young and had 3 kids to raise, I did not have the balls to do it.
And if you want to live long and not age quickly, do not have kids. Buy Poodles instead, they are cheaper and more loyal. They also eat less. But if you like to screw, kids happen somehow. One of these days I will figure than one out. When they become teenagers they will drive you nuts and put you in an early grave. To raise a kid now and put him through college is more than the price of a new Ferrari Diablo. They are not worth it. Sell them while they are young and cute and you can get 50 grand a piece and if you peddle 3 of them there is your used Ferrari.
Mine were all too ugly to sell and I was stuck with the losers. I have been married for a very long time. How long? Too long. I just stuck around the last 10 years to piss the bitch off. Who would have thought till death do us part would take this long? People ask me what’s the secret to a long and happy marriage. I tell them what the secret to a long one is: Kids. All you want to do is fook like a bunny and have a good time and bingo, the patter of little feet running around. It’s all over for you then. The only reason me and Yo Sarah are still together today is neither one of us wants’ custody of these losers. If anyone out there is thinking of having kids then do natural childbirth and save the anesthesia until they become teenagers and cooler than you are, then you will really need it.
Take my kids, please. Kids start out nice and then one day he is 15 with an attitude. You have to be careful also how you raise them when they are little. When mine was coming up I was the entire time saying, don’t get smart. Yep, they all grew up dumb as moon rocks. 3 nitcompoops that can’t come out of the rain. Now I am a grandfather and the losers and the grandkids are living with me eating me out of house and home. It’s like a nightmare and it just keeps getting worse. The problem keeps getting bigger. And I am getting so upset all the time I keep having hot flashes. I thought I was the one who started global warming. Al Gore was following me around for 3 days. So I went to my Doctor rasterfarian and said, Doc, what is happening to me. He said, you have became, your grandfather.
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
you get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna b e 16! And then the greatest day of your life. You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, and REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! They give you a standing ovation for just walking in the door of the pool hall.
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them." You are as young as you feel you are. Never act your age. I am 29, I refuse to age beyond 29. I act like I am 29. My kids are now older than me and soon also will be my grandchildren as well. When you begin to act your age, it’s all over for you.
2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. If you want to die fast, retire and then sit around and vegetate.
4. Enjoy the simple things. Learn to meditate. Learn silence is golden.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Rack em sausage, Go play fast and loose. Ride em hard, put em up wet, leave the ladies smiling. Live free, die well owing no man anything. May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you’re dead? In time, it’s all dust in the wind anyway. Don’t take yourself, or anything too serious, just be happy and healthy. Laughter good whiskey and song is the best medicine. If you have a library, a garden, a good woman and a barrel of Scotch, you have all you need.
5. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, and hobbies, whatever… Your home is your refuge...
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. Exercise daily.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take we take someone else’s breath away. It is not measured by how many toys and material possessions we end up with. It is measured by how many people love us and attend our funerals. Live every day like it is your last, for it just might be.
There are many ways to live a long and healthy life. Have a few drinks after 5pm, it’s the stress killing us, not the booze. Drink a glass of red wine with your dinner. Get out in the sun, garden, dig in the dirt, get a tan. Walk off dinner every evening, or walk the dogs after eating. Keep some type of physical activity going on as long as you live. Hit the Gym, walk at the mall, or play pool every day.
Hang out with the right people, those who are happy and positive. Hang with drunks, you will drink with them. Hang with lazy fat people eating fast food and who never exercise you can pick up their habits. Hang with golfers, tennis players, people out doing things that cause you to sweat.
In Okinawa elders recite an adage to remind themselves to stop eating before they are full. Replace your 12” dinner plates with smaller ones. On each meal, reduce the quantity of what you are now eating by 30%. Less food in, more exercise, weight comes off. Eat breakfast, then 3 small little meals during the day. Don’t get hungry, when you do, eat, but small.
Eat slow, very slow. Take a bite, chew it 20 times and lay down your fork every time. Don’t shovel it in. Give your body time to tell you it’s full. Stop buying meat at the grocery store. Eat a lot of fish and chicken. Eat meat out on special occasions or when you dine with your family and friends. Once a week is just fine, every day is not. Do this and it will add half a dozen years to your life.
Have a sense and a purpose. I have had a several 70 year old students come in for 2 and 3 day lessons. Always have a sport and always want to keep getting better or learning more about it. When you can’t play well on 9’ tables, go to 8, then 7’. When you can run balls any more, learn how to set up and make trick shots, they are a lot of fun and source of enjoyment.
Reconnect with your religion and church. Get active in it, learn about volunteering as your job wanes and your kids grow up, find a new purpose and things to do. Be happy, and you will live long. Be unhappy and you will die of a disease young.
When you are riding it home, can see the finish line, don't spit da bit. Begin beating the ass with your riding whip and yell out like Tarzan C’est si bon, si bon, si bon, who's yo daddy. When she screams FL, don't take it too hard, life goes on. C’est La Vie.
I used to say die young and leave a good looking corpse behind, I now say die old, and leave an old wrinkled one behind instead.
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