[ballbanger]

 RETIREMENT

 A real man discusses women and their old age.
>
> It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
> becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
> when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
> Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
> woman.
>
> My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
> Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to
> get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income
> and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started
> working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home
> from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
>
> Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
> rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
> her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
> dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the
> club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked
> grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we
> finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table
> for several hours after dinner.
>
> I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
> evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
> this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
> to bed.
>
> Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will
> say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
> during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I
> just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
> two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
> remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
> any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
> points.
>
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
> She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
> I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a
> nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a
> while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
> make one for me too.

It took her a year to save up the money to buy me my brand new Diamond table and
After dinner and I shoot pool for several hours she is wanting to go to bed early but
I keep telling her she has to stay up so she can clean the table, brush and vacuum it and
Iron my golf clothes so I can look sharp on the tee tomorrow.
 > I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy.
> I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
> will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows
> better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However,
> guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your
> aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was
> well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
>
> Signed,
>
> Jim
>
> EDITOR'S NOTE:
>
> Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report
> says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver
> II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip
> showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
>
> His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury
> took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that
> Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.