[FASTLARRY]

Vote for FL for President and he will give you Spangaleze.

YOU ALL JUST WENT: say what? Stay with me, this will begin to make sense, read on.

FL for prez, why not, we voted for Nixon?

That might be my new campaign slogon, I like it.

Put a reak crook in office and get something done.

I would make English the official language on day one.
But I would begin a study to clean the language up and change it so it fits into our modern world. A lot of words needs to be changed or dropped. Why do I have to type through when thru would work.

I would keep English, mostly english but I would blend it in with Spanis creating a spangaleze, not to appease the Mexicans, but because spanish is a easier language and makes more sense in some cases. I would drop yes and put in SI. Once you do that then it can be pushed as a world language and we all need to speak the same toungue.

>>>> >Can you read these right the first time?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
>>>> >present the present.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >10) I did not object to the object.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
>>>> >eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
>>>> >English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
>>>> >Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
>>>> >meat.
>>>> >We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
>>>> >that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
>>>> >pig
>>>> >is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
>>>> >groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
>>>> >isn't
>>>> >the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
>>>> >One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
>>>> >but
>>>> >not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
>>>> >but one of them, what do you call it?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
>>>> >vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
>>>> >English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
>>>> >insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
>>>> >recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
>>>> >feet that smell?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
>>>> >and
>>>> >a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
>>>> >language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which
>>>> >you
>>>> >fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
>>>> >going on.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
>>>> >creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all
>>>> >That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
>>>> >lights are out, they are invisible.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"