[FASTLARRY]

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accur ately reflects the
government's political stance. Bush explained that A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

[RicktheStick]

I do not see any problem with removing the great seal on the dollar bill and putting a picture of a comdom in its place. We all have one in our bill fold. Who of us goes out with out one, we might just get lucky.

fL says when he gets in office he is going to screw everyone but take care of the pool players. As long as I get mine, he can have his. Rock on.

[CCRider]

FL for president, why not, we voted for Nixon?

[FASTLARRY]

Right, I liked tricky dickie, because the commies both respected and feared him. He did an effective job for a long time. If I was in and they asked for my tapes I would have said, Oh, you did not know, every year I load them on the Voyager space craft and they go out in space for future generations or other worlds to find us. I you want them, go get them, I believe they are leaving the orbit of Pluto right now, end of story..

LBJ, jACKIE called him ole corn pone, was the biggest crook we ever had and was at the head of the coup de tat that killed Jack. He was a total jerk and red neck.

[FASTLARRY]

FL for prez, why not, we voted for Nixon?

That might be my new campaign slogon, I like it.

Put a reak crook in office and get something done.

I would make English the official language on day one.
But I would begin a study to clean the language up and change it so it fits into our modern world. A lot of words needs to be changed or dropped. Why do I have to type through when thru would work.

I would keep English, mostly english but I would blend it in with Spanis creating a spangaleze, not to appease the Mexicans, but because spanish is a easier language and makes more sense in some cases. I would drop yes and put in SI. Once you do that then it can be pushed as a world language and we all need to speak the same toungue.

>>>> >Can you read these right the first time?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
>>>> >present the present.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >10) I did not object to the object.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
>>>> >eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
>>>> >English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
>>>> >Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
>>>> >meat.
>>>> >We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
>>>> >that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
>>>> >pig
>>>> >is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
>>>> >groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
>>>> >isn't
>>>> >the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
>>>> >One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
>>>> >but
>>>> >not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
>>>> >but one of them, what do you call it?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
>>>> >vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
>>>> >English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
>>>> >insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
>>>> >recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
>>>> >feet that smell?
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
>>>> >and
>>>> >a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
>>>> >language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which
>>>> >you
>>>> >fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
>>>> >going on.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
>>>> >creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all
>>>> >That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
>>>> >lights are out, they are invisible.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"