[FASTLARRY]

Why dogs are better than wives. By Wonder Dog.

Dogs don’t cry. They love it when your friends come over. They don’t care if you use their shampoo. They don’t like baths and like to stink. The better you stink, they better they like you too. They don’t like to shake hands, but will if you insist. They would rather shove their nose up your butt and get an absolute identification of your scent. They think you sing great. They think every thing you do is great. They are always ready for you. Their time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink from the commode. They don’t expect you to call them when you are running late. The later you are the more excited they are to see you.

They don’t get their feelings hurt if you forget their birthday or don’t tell them they are pretty every day. If they put on 5 lbs and you tell them they are fat they take it as a compliment. They will forgive you for playing with other females. They won’t get upset if you call them by another dogs name by accident. They are excited by rough play. They think farts are funny. They will open the fridge and bring you a bud with a little coaching. They love sharing your popcorn with you and cleaning off your plates. A hot dog is a 4 star meal. You don’t have to take her to St Moritz to impress her. A ride down the interstate with her head out of the window with both ears flapping in the wind will work just as well.

They appreciate excess body hair. They don’t mind if you shed or get fleas on them. Nothing to them is a big deal. They don’t mind if you chew off a corner of the sofa they sleep on. You can go buy a gorgeous young female and they will deal with it and try and get a threesome going on. Dogs never call a lawyer and wipe you off the face of the earth financially for the next five years because they suddenly fall in love with the fry cook down at the waffle house. If you want true love and total loyalty, forget women, go buy a German shepherd.

Dogs are so loyal they will love you till the day you die and never leave your side. They will stick with you for better or worse. Dogs love it when you leave a lot of stuff on the floor which is more for them to play with. They never bitch or tell you to clean up the joint. They never give you a long honey do list that trashes your day off. They don’t wine, snivel or complain. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.

They never go on the rag and begin to fall apart on you. Dogs never examine the relationship or grow tired of you. They don’t have a mid life crisis which results in you being tossed out of the house you paid for and you are now sleeping in your car. Your dog does not demand charge cards at the best ball stores which keep you working 80 hours a week to play for. Your dog will never tell you that you can’t buy that new cue, or take off for a long weekend to travel 500 miles to play in a tourney and know you are coming home dead broke. A good dog will never leave you for some new young hot stud with a new Mercedes. In your dogs eyes you never grow old. You are forever young to them.

[coolcuedude]

Dogs do rule.