The great truths of life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
(11 Don’t stick a nail into the wall electrical socket.

ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing
Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
7) women are always right and you let them have their way
8) FL is always right, you only now listen to his teachings and ignore all bozos.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license and a piece of shit car.
At age 35 success is . having money, a wife and a home.
At age 50 success is . . . having money, a new hair piece, a new corvette and a new young hottie on your arm.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license and a piece of shit car.
At age 75 success is . having friends which is hard to do because they all died.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Be sure and take the time to stop, and smell the flowers along the way. 2012 comes soon, the pole shifts, the flowers are then all gone. Repent and change your ways now, little time to do that is now left.

www.fastlarrypool.com is Larry’s web site where you can book lessons or a trick shot show. Check out the new billiards store which has the lowest prices on cues and tables. Open the Encyclopedia to gain access to over 200 instruction articles for free. POOL LESSONS FROM A GRAND MASTER LEVEL INSTRUCTOR, BILLIARDS EXPERT AND FORMER ARTISTIC WORLD CHAMPION. 770-381-6609. Larry plays on six pro pool tours. His tour 9 ball cards are: the UPA, the men’s main 9 ball tour, currently ranked in the top 50, the Viking Pro 9 ball tour, Florida 9 ball tour, SE pro 9 ball tour, the Senior Tour and the APTSA (Artistic Pool and Trick Shot Association.
Fax 770-381-1916 POOL QUESTIONS ANSWERED AND FREE INSTRUCTION IS ON www.poolchat.net In the ask the pros forum.“Fast Larry” Guninger and Wonder Dog, trick shot shows and entertainment.
Email fastlarry@bellsouth.net fast Larry at bell south dot net.
DVD’s.http://www.fastlarrypool.com/dvdseries_trickshots1_trailer.htm
May God bless and peace be with you. May there now be peace between us. If you are a real pool player, then fast truly loves you. May the wind be always on your back and all 9 balls fall.
VENI VIDI VICI, OMNIA VINCIT AMOR. “Latin for “I came, I saw, I conquered, love conquerors all. Yes I really did do it all and you can believe it, or not. If you don’t believe it, C’est La Vie. " Shoot straight, innovate, never give up, just run out on the other guy then there is no way for you to lose.
Either lead me, follow me or get the hell out of my way. Do one of the three please? Come celebrate the wonder of this beautiful game with me and become a student of it.
Be my friend, walk my way, flow with what I teach you and you will soar like the Eagle into levels of excellence you never dreamed possible. Play by feel, not by systems; do not make a simple game complicated. Go with what you know, go with what is natural.

"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen." In the words of Vince Lombardi, "When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened." Vince said you’ve got to pay the price. Winning is not a sometime thing, it’s an all the time thing. Winning is a habit, unfortunately so is losing. If winning isn’t every thing, then why do we keep score.“
Rack em sausage, Go play fast and loose. Ride em hard, put em up wet, leave the ladies smiling. Live free, die well with your boots on owing no man anything. May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you’re dead? In time, it’s all dust in the wind anyway. Don’t take your self, or anything too serious, just be happy and healthy. Laughter good whiskey and song is the best medicine. If you have a library, a garden, a good woman and a barrel of Scotch, you have all you need. Be sure to take the time, to smell the flowers along the way. I am just a simple teacher. All that I now know, is that I now know nothing. I am nothing but a good ball banger who teaches a good lesson and puts on a good trick shot show, that is the only two things I do well in life.
Aristotle said “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” Die happy and you lived a good life. Work now like you are going to live forever, live now like you are going to die tomorrow.

Fast Larry Guninger, real man, real pool player, real American, real Christian.” God bless the land of the free and of the brave. May her Flag always wave high, as long as the wind wind blows and the grass grows. May the sun always shine upon you and a gentle breeze be at your back laddie, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain: May the hand of a friend always be near you and may there always be work for your hands to do. May your purse always be full of coins and the luck of the Irish be yours on the pool table. May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you up when you are down. Fáilte Roimh Cheartúcháin, Go dtuga Dia suaimhneas síoraí dó.
Minnesota Fats: Larry’s teacher said? "When I played pool I was like a psychiatrist. I cured 'em of all their daydreams and delusions." "You don't learn from smart people, you learn from idiots. Watch what they do, and then don't do it." Learn to be a lock smith. If you should be giving the 7 and the snap, don’t play for money unless you sell the pigeon he should give you the 7 and the snap. Then you never lose. Never put heat on your self, pressure is self induced; only you can put in on, only you can take it off. The toughest player mentally wins when skills are equal. "Golf is 90% mental and 10% physical." -- Ben Hogan "I am the toughest golfer mentally." -- Tiger Woods
Fast Eddy, Paul Newman, in The Color of Money: "Money won is twice as sweet as money earned." FL says always have something riding on every match, it steels the nerves. Fast Larry came up with the real Fast Eddy in the legendary Kling and Allen’s pool hall in KCMO and they were life long friends.

W. C. Fields: "Trust everyone-and always cut the cards." You can’t con an honest man. Never wise up a sucker or Give a sausage an even break
Come chat with Larry live at www.poolchat.net. Do not miss the Encyclopedia of pool, over 200 instruction articles now up on www.poolchat.net and it’s all free.

Quotes from FL. Exercise is not cracked up to be what it really is. If God intended for me to be able to touch my toes he would have put my toes where my knees are now. The trouble with jogging is the ice falls out of my scotch glass. If I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of my self. I am not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. I would rather be in Philadelphia.

I drink because it makes people more interesting and my wife better looking. It aint easy being me. I really didn’t say everything I said. I get no respect, that’s the entire problem, no respect. May peace be with you and me, and all of Gods blessings descend upon you.
God Bless you and God bless America.

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