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Let's put up our best pool jokes.

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#1 Joeyjay


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Posted 31 January 2009 - 08:56 AM

If we can't beat em, lets then laugh at them.

I'll go first, then you guys join in.

Two pool players were walking down the street when they stopped to see a huge German Shepard in the middle of the street, licking his privates.
One pool player said to the other... " I sure wish I could do that "
The other speaking in a rather strange voice...says "you'd better pet him first"


Earl, Johnny and Efren are in a plane crash and are killed.
God is asking, What do you believe in?
Johnny says " I believe that my life on earth was good, the fans were great and pool made me a great living for my wife and kids."
Eren says "I got lucky and thanks to all the fans and players that let me win"

Earl says " I believe you are sitting in my chair "


what is the difference between a 6 month old puppy and a pool player?
the puppy quits whining after 6 months


Who said pool players were dumb?
Earl is playing this guy even. they lag and Earl snaps of 10 games in a row for $50 a game... his opponent asks for a spot if they are going to play anymore...of course Earl refuses...saying " I haven't seen you shoot"


This one is completely politically incorrect and racist, but it was told to me by a Mexican friend, so I will relay it....Its actually and old cop joke and they are the most racist people on the planet.

How are a Mexican and a cue ball alike?

The harder you hit them, the more english you get out of them.....

What is the worst 3 years of a POOL PLAYERS life?
First grade. What is the greatest 5 years of his life? 2nd grade. What does a pool player call his senior year? The 3rd Grade.
You know you are a real pool player if you buy a bottle of orange juice and you stare at it for 2 hours because it says on the bottle: Concentrate.
What do you call a Pool Player in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
What do you then say to the pool player? Will the defendant please
What do you say to a Pool Player man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
You look out your peep hole in your front door and there is Bob Jewett
on your door step, how do you get rid of him?
Pay for the Pizza?
What does a medium pizza and a pro pool player have in common? Neither
one can feed a family of four?
What is a pro pool player called when his girlfriend with a full time
job leaves him. A Homeless person.

What is the difference between a pool bum and a beautifully dressed
penguin 3-Cushion billiard player. The penguin is a well dressed bum.


A man was walking in the city's top pool room when he was interrupted
by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a
couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I
give you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey or you will go in
and blow it on a foolish game of 9 ball?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"No. I don't gamble or play pool any more. I need everything I can get
just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on drugs"
"Are you NUTS! I haven't done drugs in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead,
I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing
that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied, "Hey, man, that's OK! I just want her to see what a
man looks like who's given up playing pool, drinking, gambling, and

Jean goes to a gynecologist and the gynecologist says "I must say, this
is the cleanest ***** I've seen in ages."
"Thanks," said the Jean. "I have Gerta come in 4 times a week."


A married guy goes in a bar. Meets a beautiful woman and starts talking
her up. Ends up going home with her and making love. About 4:00 am he
gets dressed, finds some powder on her dresser and sprinkles it all
over his hands.
When he gets home wifey says "Where the hell have you been?"
Dude says "I spent the evening making love to a woman I just met"
Wifey looks at his hands, sees the powder and says "You lying
son-of-a-bitch, you've been out playing pool again"

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